Soccer 6 Cup
Wrexham
Celebrity appears to be the only valuable currency in civilisation today; If you want something solving in the world get a celebrity's name tied to it and bingo!!! You've cleared up the problem. World poverty getting you down? Bono and Bob Geldof are the ones you want. Are your childrens' school meals crap? Jamie Oliver's just the ticket. Is Global warming making you hot under the collar? Well Jade Goody's has a window in her schedule next month.
Now the celebrity cavalcade has arrived in North Wales, in the form of a charity football tournament. Well I say celebrity but I've never heard of some of them, Shipwrecked? Some of them are up to 14 minutes and 45 seconds in their fame lifespan; Big Brother contestants. Some are irritating: Holyoaks actors. However some of them are recognisable, surely the point of celebrity; but they are actual Footballers. Scraping the bottom of the barrel seems an apt phrase.
The paucity of "real" celebrities might be explained by our location, it's not London. Originally I had visions of people with the calibre of Rod Stewart, Shane Ritchie and Blur turning up but the cachet is obviously less with North Wales.
The Jet Set arrived about 30 minutes into proceedings. To judge, from a football point of view, we hadn't missed anything so far, unlike the players; missing the ball seemed to constitute a large element of the matches. The whole point in this day was lost on me when two of the womens teams played. The match was dire. Apart from one of the players, Mickey Thomas' daughter Jade, it reminded me of my time in primary school. Some of the players seemed to be scared of the ball. 
If it wasn't for the fact that the money was going to charity I'd have got really angry at myself. In essence I'd paid £10 to see a lot of people that can't play football attempt to play. Just because they'd been in the public eye did this exposure give them the right to do this? Was I a sucker for falling for it? As the men weren't much better we decided to get some refreshments from the Yale Road stand (we'd been in the Mold Road stand).
The queue at the snack bar was too big and they didn't sell beer so we were downhearted. We overheard someone say that the bar was opening in ten minutes, surely the alcohol would take the edge off seeing this travesty of entertainment.
With beers purchased we headed to the stand. As we quaffed we watched a women's game. We marvelled at one goalkeeper's postioning, she was constantly behind the line. A steward asked us to move back under the stand if we were going to drink. As today's primary purpose was watching football we would have been thwarted in this, a wall has a tendency to obscure the view. Serrupticiously, we used the wall of the exit passage as cover from the steward. 15 minutes later we were asked to move by the same steward. Not wishing to be beaten by petty officialdom we went further along the stand and up to the back. To conceal our drinking we used the Jet Set Flag as cover, we simply raised it when refreshment was required. The Jet Set Speakeasy was born. All went swimmingly for 20 minutes. The first steward noticed our tactics and reported us to his superior, we were ushered beneath the stand again. It may have been a charity tournament but Football League rules still applied apparently.
We purchased more beers and went back to the Mold Road stand. As we were now more jovial the games looked far more exciting. We started to create an atmosphere. Lee Jones, (ex Wrexham and Liverpool) tried the crossbar challenge and we cheered him so much that he kicked the ball at us. Lembit Opik waved at us. Neville Southall appreciated the support of the Jet Set, as did someone from S Club 7, ain't no winger like an S Club wimger. Unfortuntealy we missed Rushy.
We didn't miss the scrum for autographs that followed an annoying woman from last year's Big Brother, Nikki, more's the pity. Quite why she needed a bouncer was beyond me. Hundreds rushed toward her, I dispair of people at times. Later Nikki conveyed contempt as she turned around abruptly and went to the changing room. It was a gesture that screamed "Whatever!!! Laters". You couldn't fail to agree to that either. I mean who are we to expect anything less than being treated with disdain. We are the hoi polloi. We are not worthy enough to spend any more time with such glitterati. Some non-entity celbrity informed us through the PA system that she was good at football apparently. How quickly I judge her, shame on me.
Big Nev's team got through to the final but the lads couldn't be bothered staying, the Turf was more enticing. I believe that this event may have been part of this postmodern culture that I've been hearing so much about, a celebrity football tournament without the celebrities.
Celebrity Action
